Can I Pet Your Dog?
A very important question–but one that is so rarely asked. You’re out walking your dog, and BAM–a person bypasses you and makes a beeline for your dog. They oohhh and ahh and just want to pet them all over! They have full on conversations with your dog, but barely even pay you, the owner, an iota’s worth of attention. What do you do? How do you handle this invasion of space? Even better question, how are you advocating for your dog when this type of interaction occurs?
It is very important to keep in mind, that dog’s value their space. Creating space is important in developing boundaries and establishing order. When a dog’s space is suddenly invaded, this can create an unstable response. From manic jumping, to growling and backing up, to lunging and barking! Does this mean that your dog can never be pet while on leash? Not necessarily. But, it does mean that some protocols need to be established so that your dog is able to handle being approached on leash. If we do nothing in helping to recondition how they view this type of situation, then this behavior will become a conditioned response. From a dog’s point of view, if no direction is established, then they will establish how a situation should be dealt with. This means that we need to learn to speak up for our dog!
How do you speak up for your dog? It’s so simple, and yet can be viewed as so complicated. If an individual takes you by surprise and goes straight for the pet without acknowledging your existence, take a step forward, put your hand out, and say No. Now, some people may give you a dirty look. Some people may give you a nasty retort. And yet, there are some that will stop and ask why? These are the people you can have a learning/teaching experience with. And your dog will see you as a leader who stepped forward and established direction!
If your dog is prone to excitement when being approached by people, you want to make sure that your dog knows a solid sit command. When given the OK, instruct individuals to have the dog sniff their hand first, and then instruct them to scratch under the chin, not on top of the head. Not only does this petting maneuver assist the dog in maintaining their sit, but it is a much less invasive/dramatic way to pet and therefore helps to keep energy levels low. If your dog begins to get excited and breaks their sit, kindly ask the individual to stop petting while you instruct your pup back in their sit. Then the affection can resume. I would not suggest allowing a petting session to take place right at the beginning of a walk as your pup’s energy level is naturally higher at the start of an adventure. Time these interactions for when your dog will better be able to physically handle an intimate interaction. Practice with friends and family members first, as this will help you develop the confidence in being able to properly handle these interaction with strangers!
If your dog is on the shyer side, you will really want to spend time on confidence boosting techniques in order to help them create positive relationships with people and strangers. A shy dog is more prone to exhibiting semi-intense/intense distance increasing signals (ie: barking, growling, lunging) when their space is suddenly invaded by very high energy. To help them not feel the need to reach that point, we really need to set the stage for them to be able to experience positive interactions. The same rules apply as when working with an excitable dog, with the main difference being that no petting may occur on leash–and that’s OK! The goal is to establish leadership on leash where your dog in seated comfortably by your side. Then, instruct the individual to allow the dog to sniff their hand. If the dog does not want to sniff, then you move on. Interaction is over. The dog is telling you that they have handled as much as they can in that moment. If they do show interest with a sniff, then while remaining seated, instruct the person to give a piece of food to the dog. If the dog accepts this peace offering, great! But do not push him further into then being made to potentially accepting physical affection. Small, baby steps is the key in building relationships and boosting confidence–but it is time well spent.
Never allow someone, unless that someone is a true professional, to dictate how either of these interactions should go. You are your dog’s leader and advocate. Telling someone No, they cannot pet your dog does not make you a mean, heartless person. If someone wants to assume that, well then that’s on them! You know you are doing the right thing in that moment in not allowing an interaction to take place. And it does not mean that you are saying your dog is aggressive, and if in that moment they are prone to aggressive responses, then all the more reason to be practicing boundary exercises as that will only help in alleviating the behavioral issue!
So, whether or not someone asks if they can pet your dog–you have the final say. Give direction. Your dog needs it and thrives off of it. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what matters and counts the most?!